An older lady, in her 80s, was talking to me about someone we both knew, now long since passed.
She remarked how this person was both strict and loving at the same time; not averse to punishing you, yet always following up punishment with some act of kindness.
A person is born with two hands. It's the same person, but using two hands for opposite things. So it is with the way some people treat you. Hugging with one hand, spanking with the other.